I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
