I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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