with your own penis?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
