What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
