i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
