You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
