Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
