remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
