Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
