i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
