I hate all girls vehemently.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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