had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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