so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You're like the curious george of whores
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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