I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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