That's intense
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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