Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
