I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
