Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
