A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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