apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
ugly people sure do ruin things
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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