The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
