You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You dont lie about slip and slides
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
