Having a random hookup so left but love u
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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