69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize