And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
