is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
