Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
