Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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