idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
