i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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