im about as happy as oj after his trial
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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