After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
We need to rekindle our bromance
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
