Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
