just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
