Whod you bang
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
