I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
