It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
