Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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