im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
