when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
