HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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