The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
