I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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