idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
