the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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