I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
