is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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