Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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