Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
