He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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