So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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