I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
